Breaking the Chains: Understanding How Codependency Amplifies Work Stress and the Role of Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Work stress and professional burnout can be significantly influenced by external factors such as workload, deadlines, and company culture. Here we look at how internal dynamics such as codependency may play a larger role. We are exploring the relationship between codependency and work stress, and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) can provide healing and insight that can break the chains.
Understanding Codependency
Codependency is a relational pattern, that often begins in childhood. When actively engaging in this relational pattern, individuals prioritize the needs of others over their own. Caring for others is not bad in and of itself, however, when caring for others comes at our own expense then it crosses into codependency. This can manifest in the workplace when individuals excessively rely on others for validation, approval, or a sense of identity. In a professional setting, codependency may lead to the fear of setting boundaries, over-commitment, and an unhealthy reliance on external validation.
The Impact on Work Stress
People Pleasing
Codependency can significantly increase work stress in several ways. First, the need to please! The need to please others can be a self-protection mechanism often stemming from fear. There may be a fear that you may be perceived as incompetent or incapable, or fear that you may disappoint others. The constant need to please others is a sure recipe for work-related stress and professional burnout.
Lack of Boundaries
Second, a codependent dynamic at work can make it difficult to set and maintain boundaries that are essential for work/life balance. The lack of boundaries at work often leads to blurred lines between home and work. This can negatively impact your personal relationships and quality of life.
Fears Related to Rejection and Abandonment
Third, codependency is often connected to a fear of rejection or abandonment. Think about it, if you are needed you have less of a chance of being rejected or left. How does this apply to work? Well, if you fear losing your job or criticism from your boss, these fears can lead to conflict avoidance. Conflict avoidance can leave important issues that are personally impacting you unaddressed, potentially leading to a toxic work environment.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Codependency
IFS is a therapeutic modality that sees our internal world in “parts.” So codependency would be looked at as a “part” of us that needs to be needed and wants to people please. IFS takes an internal somatic approach to healing so we can gain an understanding of where these internal “parts” originated, and how these “parts” protect us from abandonment and rejection. When we connect with our inner world we begin to develop self-compassion and insight that can lead to lasting change.
IFS allows us to gain an understanding of the roles these “parts” play in keeping our internal system safe. It helps us foster a sense of balance internally which in turn impacts the balance in our external world. This external shift can lead to healthy and clear communication, increased confidence with self-advocacy, and setting and maintaining healthy boundaries at work.
How to Break Free from Codependency at Work
Codependency is fueled by fear, once the fear is addressed we can communicate not from a place of fear but with confidence, curiosity, and clarity - with what IFS calls “Self Energy.” When we advocate for ourselves we can maintain a work/life balance. Work/life balance can lead to a higher quality of work and a higher quality of life.
Ruth Hescock LPC
Inner Insight Counseling LLC - Counseling for Codependency in Beaverton, Oregon
Schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation here.
